road to...

can't say "recovery" but I am beginning to feel a helluva lot better.

It's hard to look at one's own eyes, or to taste one's own tongue. When caught up in the emotion/feeling, it is hard to separate oneself from it. Not to say that one ought to have a mind/body/soul/ego split because they are all connected. But to be aware of each component at any given time is a real challenge, especially because one or the other wants more attention and makes a big deal about it! Similar to any close-knit work group. My recent comparison is a class of students with one teacher... there are the quiet ones, the uninterested ones the loud ones, the fun ones, the troublemakers, the learners, and it goes on and on... the loud ones get a lot of attention, but if I remember to turn towards the quiet ones and acknowledge them with a quiet smile, I know they understand the entire lesson.

Just like one can't yell with the uninterested ones and one can't whisper to the 元気 [genki] (Japanese, look it up on kantango.com) ones, each of the above life-components needs its own recognition... specific to its needs. To fine-tune the balance comes with practice, but I know that my balance has been off. That awareness is round one. And, boy has it been a long round. And, as I am caught up in living this life, I have a hard time in separating myself from it to see where in it I actually am. Thus, the assumption will be, I am here and I am now.... listen to your own ear on that.