Head pains

i headed that ball the wrong way. It was too hard to be playing with. It was just a situation of dumb bad luck. Whatever the reason, my head has been ringing for over a week now. CT and X-rays showed nothing abnormal. Another visit to the doc and still, nothing doing. Missed work, an important meeting... and two sessions in acupuncture... finally starting to feel more energetic. It still rings, ever-present in my head. I have two bandages on my head that remind me of Frankenstein, ever-so-slightly.

I dreamed that I was dying. What would I say, to whom would I say what? What would I have missed? Perhaps that is the dream I needed. What is my goal here and am I doing what I can to follow that goal. I looked back on my blog from a year ago, just for reference in between migraines and found an idea... and I had forgotten about it. So, as usual, I got a laugh and then decided that I had better sleep before I thought too much, lest I cause another headache.

In the intense pain of an 800-lb weight crushing my head over the right temple while I was trying to crush it back into the pillow, I found a bit of peace. I wanted to puke, I couldn't open my eyes because it was too light in the pitch black room and I thought it was over. That's it. a wasted life? Nope? I have gotten a couple of things done. And then I released myself from the obligations I had held myself to. I accepted my fate and when I woke up, my headache had subsided. I don't know how long i slept, i just know that when I finally succumbed to the pain that was, it wasn't a battle, and I came to peace with the situation. I fell asleep and the pain continued while I was asleep- only to be over when I awoke. Still ringing... as a reminder.

Still ringing as a reminder now... one day at a time, and a bit of R&R and to allow what will be to be, instead of trying to control what I can't. Instead of worrying about next steps I'll peacefully take this one right now.