...but it has only changed forms. As I have an outlet to get some emotions out, I probably will. It is nice having Internet at home. It had been a long time indeed. But I know that I don't NEED it. And that is reassuring... it is only a tool for my convenience. Period.
I moved from Japan on May 16th, two months after my last post. Then, I got used to English slightly and road-tripped up the entire West Coast to Bellingham, Washington where I will spend the next two years. From San Diego to here... nearly 1500 miles. Or 1700 miles. I forget. Probably the former. Across the country... northways.
Culture shock is really hard. EVERYTHING here is in English. We Americans love to talk about ourselves. Often we just talk for the sake of talking... to fill in beautiful silence with garbage words because the beauty of the moment is frightening. If we practiced enjoying the moment, we might speak less or speak less nonsense. Maybe this happened in Japan too, but I didn't understand it. In fact, I know it happened there too, but I could pretend I didn't understand. Here I get sucked in to filling in space with words.
I say "we" earlier. I include myself. I am an American. And I really love America... this place is incredible. Yeah, far from perfect. And a perfect place is actually boring and not human. So, I say it again. I love America. Whether or not to live here permanently is only a matter of the winds... but I truly love it here and love the potential this country has for greatness and love what DOES work. I even love what doesn't work, because it gives so many people room to grow into those spots to fix the not-so-good parts. I love America.
I miss Japan a lot. And it is hard for me now because I have been really out of it for three years. Really. I caught up with some great people in the past three weeks and it has been wonderful. We have really all gone such different directions. I can't imagine doing what they're doing and i can't imagine them doing what I do. And that we could fill in after a three-year absence made me very happy. Family members too! They all accept me for the strange fellow that I am, and I can accept them for the people they are. I know this sounds very general, and it is... but it is how I can put it into words... in English!
Two weeks old, Chick Hearn statue in front of Staples Center (LA)... during the Suns/Lakers series.
Sunset from Grandma and Saba's back yard. I forgot how much the sun can move... in February it is significantly more to the left (south).
My awesome brother Jake (left) who left me stay at his place on my move up to Washington. He even let me have his bed for the night... what a guy!
On the 1, south of Big Sur, just north of San Simeon. I love the smell of the sage on the hill... and listening to the waves crash into the rocks below... and those enormous kelp forests that are totally visible from above!
