More intense dreams involving suffering. This time, I even warned the guy who fell and he looked back and then fell anyway. It seems that I can even tell folks that what they are about to do is not a good idea and then they do it regardless. It seems then it is my job to mitigate the pain and help relieve the suffering... well, it doesn't matter. These are only dreams, right?
Already feeling behind the eight-ball today. Got to sleep a little bit later than expected and struggled to get up. In large part because my muscles won't function! My arms, chest and back are so sore- especially my left tricep. Ouch. Gotta stretch it all out today and NOT work them until Sunday.
Got a ton of reading done yesterday. Backup- first, I went to services and that was a refreshing experience. The service was nice and this congregation is so sweet. Not too big, not too small (at least for High Holidays) and a good mix of folks. Though there seemed to be a lack of young people... I guess Bellingham doesn't host the biggest Jewish population around.
Got a ton of reading done yesterday. It was wonderful. Sitting outside and studying. I was able to comprehend much more because I was outside. The ironic part is that I was reading about how vitamin N (Nature) is important in our lives. It's Richard Louv's new book, The Nature Principle. Not gonna plug it, but he says what I feel (and instinctively know- actually we all know it and still don't do it): Get outside, it is therapeutic and healthy.
Straight up. Go outside right now. Leave this computer behind. We don't balance our technological uses with enough nature and that imbalance is unhealthy. Wanna get in shape? Go outside. Wanna perform better at work? Go outside. Wanna be a better person? Go outside. Want to live? Go outside.
Just sit or stand for a minute or five. It is good for you. Creative juices start to flow, energy comes back, motivation gets stronger. It's cold? Put on a jacket and a hat. It's hot? Take off your jacket. The sun is not the important factor, nor even the fresh air. If you are in a city, go outside. If you are in the country, go outside. Give your body what it needs.
Yup, I am feeling behind and the need to go on with things today. Gym, class, library, evening services... and you know what? I'll spend as much of the time in transit... outside. Outside. It's the next big drug. Prozac and Ritilin got nothin' on Nature. It's like Shel Silverstein's poem, "The Curse of Gimmesome Roy":
'Well, that is that,' says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone,
Facing another thousand years of talking to God alone.
'It seems, Lord,' says Fats, 'it's always the same, old men or bright-eyed youth,
It's always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth.'
You'll find me overdosing on nature while there is still some to go around. Accelerating into Shabbat. It will be nice to rest this week. No post tomorrow.
2011-09-30
2011-09-29
take it easy
The Rabbi reminded me last night that there are strict laws/rules and that there is a flowing world. You can't have a world if you are too stuck on rules. I appreciate what she was getting at. I am pretty stuck on rules and formality... I think they are fun and good ideas. But if I get too strict with it all, it turns into irritation. And that is no fun at all. What is life and the world, if not fun?
She also discussed "being lost." There are lots of steps to getting found, but an important one is standing still. And waiting. And the right signals will clue us in. And then there was the falldowngetup, which is one word. You fall down and immediate get up. That's gonna happen too. I suppose that one will come later according to her timeline of events. But is important to bounce up. To keep going. To have fun. To open our hearts and develop compassion.
----
If I have done you wrong in the past year (or more) I sincerely apologize and ask for your forgiveness. I am a human being learning everyday to become more compassionate and it is an on-going struggle and lesson to learn. I am not perfect and never will be. But I will keep working at it.
----
At a relatively empty (in attendance) morning gym session, I did some pull-ups and push-ups yesterday and my body feels it big time. Pain in all the right muscles. Ouch.
----
Weird dreams last night. I watched as a horse emptied its carcass out of a hole in its skin and then convulse as it was dying. I was there to comfort some friends as they dealt with the traumatic experience. As for me, it was just another creature going the way of life and death, I wasn't too moved by the scene- more moved by my friends who were in shock after the event. They changed as a result and I woke up after offering to escort one home.
Another one, late morning (after the alarm of course) was about my second Toyota Camry. I had parked it in a place weeks before I left on vacation. It was behind a grocery store because it was lit, as opposed to my apartment complex from which I assumed it would get towed (which is counter-intuitive). After walking around for a bit in a parking lot, I remembered where it was and got with a friend to walk in the dark to get there. We almost got hit by a car on the way, but we were actually very far from it. I remember being irritated at the car lights that had seemed close- but when I turned around to see the car, it was far away and we were in no danger.
I guess that says something about me being jumpy or paranoid and my ability to get irritated easily with no necessary cause. This is a lesson I was reminded of last night at services and that I should take it easy, trust people a little more and not be so quick to respond or judge others. (And even the perfect humans can't be perfect all the time, so we may always be seeing perfect people in their momentary of lapse from perfection.) I woke up never having gotten to the car, but I knew that we were on the right track. And I feel that way as I type this out, eating some granola from well over a year ago and prepare to leave for Rosh Hashanah morning services.
She also discussed "being lost." There are lots of steps to getting found, but an important one is standing still. And waiting. And the right signals will clue us in. And then there was the falldowngetup, which is one word. You fall down and immediate get up. That's gonna happen too. I suppose that one will come later according to her timeline of events. But is important to bounce up. To keep going. To have fun. To open our hearts and develop compassion.
----
If I have done you wrong in the past year (or more) I sincerely apologize and ask for your forgiveness. I am a human being learning everyday to become more compassionate and it is an on-going struggle and lesson to learn. I am not perfect and never will be. But I will keep working at it.
----
At a relatively empty (in attendance) morning gym session, I did some pull-ups and push-ups yesterday and my body feels it big time. Pain in all the right muscles. Ouch.
----
Weird dreams last night. I watched as a horse emptied its carcass out of a hole in its skin and then convulse as it was dying. I was there to comfort some friends as they dealt with the traumatic experience. As for me, it was just another creature going the way of life and death, I wasn't too moved by the scene- more moved by my friends who were in shock after the event. They changed as a result and I woke up after offering to escort one home.
Another one, late morning (after the alarm of course) was about my second Toyota Camry. I had parked it in a place weeks before I left on vacation. It was behind a grocery store because it was lit, as opposed to my apartment complex from which I assumed it would get towed (which is counter-intuitive). After walking around for a bit in a parking lot, I remembered where it was and got with a friend to walk in the dark to get there. We almost got hit by a car on the way, but we were actually very far from it. I remember being irritated at the car lights that had seemed close- but when I turned around to see the car, it was far away and we were in no danger.
I guess that says something about me being jumpy or paranoid and my ability to get irritated easily with no necessary cause. This is a lesson I was reminded of last night at services and that I should take it easy, trust people a little more and not be so quick to respond or judge others. (And even the perfect humans can't be perfect all the time, so we may always be seeing perfect people in their momentary of lapse from perfection.) I woke up never having gotten to the car, but I knew that we were on the right track. And I feel that way as I type this out, eating some granola from well over a year ago and prepare to leave for Rosh Hashanah morning services.
2011-09-28
Sunny again... L'shana Tova
Happy New Year folks.
I write this a couple of hours before going to services. I didn't do the morning writing today, as I was hoping to get to the gym at a reasonable and early hour. The past two days I thought it was would be nice to refocus and calm down by shooting baskets at the gym. That is a favorite pastime. But it was packed. Simply a zoo. I can't go to the gym after noon because there are way too many folks there. I will be doing my activity in the morning and maybe having to adjust sleeping patterns in order to accommodate morning writing (and reading!)
I have been writing a lot about myself recently- both jovial times and tribulations (although the suffering is usually self-imposed as opposed to persecution.) This will continue, but I hope to also add some more creative bits too.
I just read that humans may be psychologically predisposed to living in open spaces and near water sources. This allows our basic needs to be met. We can have access to drinking supply and probably food. We can also affirm our security in that no predators may sneak up on us. The view from my patio/perch where I read this information is a nice red-brick area. There is a matching brown/red fence that surrounds the yard and generally protects me from vision of passers-by. I hear them laugh or drive or walk and then see them through slivers in slats along the fence, but they are undisturbed not knowing that I am there reading and briefly glancing at them. Of course my landlord can peer down and see me, but I never look up to check!
I sit in a plastic patio chair (you know the kind) as my laundry and kitchen towels dry behind me. It is late in the summer, indeed the beginning of autumn, so there is long light and it hangs at 50-degrees and stays pretty far to the south. I know that the angles will get even lower and the southern range of its pattern will only deepen. Meanwhile, my laundry dries and I absorb as much Vitamin D as is possible, while still staying warm under a fleece blanket. A cup (actually a pot) of fresh green tea with roasted rice (thank you Naoko-sensei) keeps my mind alert as I start to doze off in the late afternoon rays. I have a lot of reading to do so I can't sleep right now. My chair is not so comfortable, and according to my Yoga instructor (god-bless her!) most American chairs are not designed for our health. I am hyper vigilant to my back and making sure it is getting stronger. I sit up straight and become aware as I slouch into it or lean forward too much. In the end, I am happy sitting on this chair, basking in the September sun, reading about conversation psychology- despite it's currently dense disposition.
I am paying to be a student. I pay and professionals give me things to read. It's kind of silly, you know that I can't just pick up these works and read them on my own. But the discussions, the constant barrage of work, and the schedule is indeed important. I pay for this freedom of time and do my reading and convert all of these factors into yet another piece of paper. It's a funny thing to consider. In the end, however, it is the opportunity to read, to enjoy reading and to share my thoughts about the reading with others (or sit in the class and affirm/ change my beliefs as others discuss the topics because I am not quick enough to speak up).
The chicken I bought (6 pounds of local organic bird) is sitting in brine. I hope to bake it tomorrow with onions and carrots and potatoes... Enough writing for now. It's time to get ready for services, taking the bus and another chapter of good reading.
I write this a couple of hours before going to services. I didn't do the morning writing today, as I was hoping to get to the gym at a reasonable and early hour. The past two days I thought it was would be nice to refocus and calm down by shooting baskets at the gym. That is a favorite pastime. But it was packed. Simply a zoo. I can't go to the gym after noon because there are way too many folks there. I will be doing my activity in the morning and maybe having to adjust sleeping patterns in order to accommodate morning writing (and reading!)
I have been writing a lot about myself recently- both jovial times and tribulations (although the suffering is usually self-imposed as opposed to persecution.) This will continue, but I hope to also add some more creative bits too.
I just read that humans may be psychologically predisposed to living in open spaces and near water sources. This allows our basic needs to be met. We can have access to drinking supply and probably food. We can also affirm our security in that no predators may sneak up on us. The view from my patio/perch where I read this information is a nice red-brick area. There is a matching brown/red fence that surrounds the yard and generally protects me from vision of passers-by. I hear them laugh or drive or walk and then see them through slivers in slats along the fence, but they are undisturbed not knowing that I am there reading and briefly glancing at them. Of course my landlord can peer down and see me, but I never look up to check!
I sit in a plastic patio chair (you know the kind) as my laundry and kitchen towels dry behind me. It is late in the summer, indeed the beginning of autumn, so there is long light and it hangs at 50-degrees and stays pretty far to the south. I know that the angles will get even lower and the southern range of its pattern will only deepen. Meanwhile, my laundry dries and I absorb as much Vitamin D as is possible, while still staying warm under a fleece blanket. A cup (actually a pot) of fresh green tea with roasted rice (thank you Naoko-sensei) keeps my mind alert as I start to doze off in the late afternoon rays. I have a lot of reading to do so I can't sleep right now. My chair is not so comfortable, and according to my Yoga instructor (god-bless her!) most American chairs are not designed for our health. I am hyper vigilant to my back and making sure it is getting stronger. I sit up straight and become aware as I slouch into it or lean forward too much. In the end, I am happy sitting on this chair, basking in the September sun, reading about conversation psychology- despite it's currently dense disposition.
I am paying to be a student. I pay and professionals give me things to read. It's kind of silly, you know that I can't just pick up these works and read them on my own. But the discussions, the constant barrage of work, and the schedule is indeed important. I pay for this freedom of time and do my reading and convert all of these factors into yet another piece of paper. It's a funny thing to consider. In the end, however, it is the opportunity to read, to enjoy reading and to share my thoughts about the reading with others (or sit in the class and affirm/ change my beliefs as others discuss the topics because I am not quick enough to speak up).
The chicken I bought (6 pounds of local organic bird) is sitting in brine. I hope to bake it tomorrow with onions and carrots and potatoes... Enough writing for now. It's time to get ready for services, taking the bus and another chapter of good reading.
(Funny, reading this now, after I posted it... This is randombling at its finest. I never DID get to the point of my post. And I didn't connect like thoughts either. I missed some transition sentences and glue to make my ideas make sense. That is a GOOD realization- I have to slow down!)
2011-09-27
early morning
Tuesday is rough. Gotta catch up on reading for today's class. Yoga at 9 and then class at 10. Today is the first meeting of an evening class that I registered for. We'll see if I should even be in it...
This blog is helping me with my thoughts and expressions. Yesterday I articulately and comically expressed myself in class. I am happy with what I said and the conversation it spurred.
Prior to that, I received a call about how my attempt to excuse myself from classes on Thursday was an "inexcusable" absence. A little bit shocked, I spoke without anger but with eloquence something along the lines of "disappointed with the University's lack of recognition for cultural diversity..."
I felt bad unleashing my verbal venom on the woman who had tried to help me only an hour earlier. So, after class I went to her to apologize for my curtness towards her. However, she reassured me that I was indeed, in the right. We worked out the steps I need to take (there has to be a paperwork trail) to get the absence excused and I will be able to make up my 1-credit yoga class after all. She was very nice and helpful and I am glad that it all worked out.
It's not that REALLY care, but I don't want to have an "unsatisfactory" grade because I missed class. On a bigger scale, frankly, missing class for a Jewish holiday in this day and age in the United States should be recognized as excused. I guess that is a difference with what I am used to from my days at UCLA. There, the school shuts down as there are (at least, used to be) so many Jews in the establishment- teaching and taking classes. Here, I may be in the company of rather few...
Nick came over yesterday afternoon and jammed on my piano in between bouts of reading. We made dinner in the form of burritos and he disappeared into the night after 11 with his black coat and black bowler hat hiding a John Muir-esque facade of red beard and mountain man hair. Good conversation and it was nice to relax with a friend.
Anyways, blogging in the morning has cleared my head and let me tell a story so far. No "valued" outcome results from it, but peace of mind is worth the "price" of time "spent."
This blog is helping me with my thoughts and expressions. Yesterday I articulately and comically expressed myself in class. I am happy with what I said and the conversation it spurred.
Prior to that, I received a call about how my attempt to excuse myself from classes on Thursday was an "inexcusable" absence. A little bit shocked, I spoke without anger but with eloquence something along the lines of "disappointed with the University's lack of recognition for cultural diversity..."
I felt bad unleashing my verbal venom on the woman who had tried to help me only an hour earlier. So, after class I went to her to apologize for my curtness towards her. However, she reassured me that I was indeed, in the right. We worked out the steps I need to take (there has to be a paperwork trail) to get the absence excused and I will be able to make up my 1-credit yoga class after all. She was very nice and helpful and I am glad that it all worked out.
It's not that REALLY care, but I don't want to have an "unsatisfactory" grade because I missed class. On a bigger scale, frankly, missing class for a Jewish holiday in this day and age in the United States should be recognized as excused. I guess that is a difference with what I am used to from my days at UCLA. There, the school shuts down as there are (at least, used to be) so many Jews in the establishment- teaching and taking classes. Here, I may be in the company of rather few...
Nick came over yesterday afternoon and jammed on my piano in between bouts of reading. We made dinner in the form of burritos and he disappeared into the night after 11 with his black coat and black bowler hat hiding a John Muir-esque facade of red beard and mountain man hair. Good conversation and it was nice to relax with a friend.
Anyways, blogging in the morning has cleared my head and let me tell a story so far. No "valued" outcome results from it, but peace of mind is worth the "price" of time "spent."
2011-09-26
Food blog and a happy start to the week
Now that I live on my own, it's pretty important for me to cook. And I love to do it. creativity, efficiency, tasty... my favorite adjectives all rolled into one. I think; what tastes good? what is going bad first? and how can I make it all work?
My landlord gave me a zucchini last week. I don't even like zucchini. fortunately I had garlic... this might be the first time I have eaten it, let alone make it for myself. Almost 30 and still growing up!
I purchased an incredible piece of steel in Japan... it looks like this:
That was the Rainbow Trout that I bought- gutted not filleted. It was much better to buy the whole fish and fillet it myself. I did it and only had one small bone in my mouth during the meal. That Toyokatsu knife really did the trick!
My landlord gave me a zucchini last week. I don't even like zucchini. fortunately I had garlic... this might be the first time I have eaten it, let alone make it for myself. Almost 30 and still growing up!
I purchased an incredible piece of steel in Japan... it looks like this:
That was the Rainbow Trout that I bought- gutted not filleted. It was much better to buy the whole fish and fillet it myself. I did it and only had one small bone in my mouth during the meal. That Toyokatsu knife really did the trick!Sauteed in the same garlic pan as the zucchini (saved washing something else). Plus, the fish head, spine, bones and tails make great fertilizer for the compost. This experience was worth the "trouble" of cutting a real animal and using its parts effectively. And doing the math, for the same price as the Coho I ate two nights ago, I got twice as much fish to eat with this Rainbow Trout. Maybe it's a cheaper fish, but I didn't have to pay for "labor" of filleting the fish.
Tasted much better than pictures or words describe. Of course served with Thai Jasmine rice and a side salad of tomato, carrot and mixed greens.
And this morning's breakfast. Like the woman at the Farmer's Market told me, "This is a $3 melon. I don't even have to weigh it." Well, I took her word for it, but she was wrong. I would have sold it for $10 knowing how good this thing was. Juicy, but not overly. Sweet, but not bowl-you-over. Delicate but fleshy enough to fill me up. Perfect. Really. Half for now and half for an after-school snack!
Yesterday I wrote my paper. Now I'll spend a couple of days editing it and then I can turn in the whole thing. I think it will be the longest paper that I have ever written! Go figure. It took all day and I was pretty drained by mid-afternoon.
Tasted much better than pictures or words describe. Of course served with Thai Jasmine rice and a side salad of tomato, carrot and mixed greens.And this morning's breakfast. Like the woman at the Farmer's Market told me, "This is a $3 melon. I don't even have to weigh it." Well, I took her word for it, but she was wrong. I would have sold it for $10 knowing how good this thing was. Juicy, but not overly. Sweet, but not bowl-you-over. Delicate but fleshy enough to fill me up. Perfect. Really. Half for now and half for an after-school snack!
Yesterday I wrote my paper. Now I'll spend a couple of days editing it and then I can turn in the whole thing. I think it will be the longest paper that I have ever written! Go figure. It took all day and I was pretty drained by mid-afternoon.
After prepping for dinner, I hiked up to school with a lot of heavy Falcon and Eagle-related books in my backpack (it wasn't raining, so I decided to go for it.) I turned them in after holding onto them for nearly six months. Then I went to the gym. Just to shoot around again... and then found myself in the middle of a four-on-four full-court game. My team lost 11-8, but I definitely scored 6 of those points. It is a good feeling to know that I am a smart basketball player and in the right places to get rebounds. I was playing with more fit, younger undergraduate students and able to hold my own. I wasn't as quick, but I played angles and a little bit smarter. I got two steals and even a block to keep my team in it for another possession. Then 3-on-3 in the half court. Again, my team lost. But the guy I was guarding (a good 6 inches taller than me) only got two points. I scored two also- so that was a draw. Another block in there for me too.
My apartment is clean. It's almost ready for me to mess it up again with my myriad of projects. But I am confident that it is good for Rosh Hashanah on Thursday. I hope to go to services at the reform congregation here and I am still working on getting an excused absence for my 1-credit Yoga class which is based solely on participation! More importantly... Happy New Year to those who are celebrating... may it be joyous and sweet.
Another busy week of school starts today, but I hope to get reading to stay on course. And I still hope to catch up on three overdue blog posts and various other errands. I love my life. I love this program. I love this blog. Love.
2011-09-25
Day three in a row
Yesterday was not as productive as I would have like regarding my overdue paper. I broke the ice though and that was good enough. I will grill it out today and to the editing over the next couple of days.
Yesterday was great though toward the end of the day. Well, first, the Farmer's Market was great- met lots of farmers (you can tell by looking at their hands) and bought good stuff. Some sun melons which I've never eaten before as well as an oriental cucumber. I also bought a whole chicken and while the prices for all of this stuff and the other stuff I bought was a bit high I am pretty sure that the quality is also high and my health will also be elevated. Well worth the price and still cheaper than Japan, so I am in a good place with food.
Yesterday I was in a funk so I rushed off to the gym in the evening before it closed. It is sooo nice to shoot around on a nice indoor basketball court. I yearn for the fresh air of my outdoor Diablo court, but this was sticky floors and fast-paced basketball. Even my shots were faster. Promptly after shooting the lights out, I met some Japanese foreign exchange students and introduced myself in Japanese. We played for about 20 minutes together before the gym was shut down. It was a lot of fun and NOT competitive. Like Vinnie said once, it's nice to play in Japan because no one cares about winning more than actually playing. I got to experience that again and it was great. I even woke up with a dream about walking away from competition, so I know that this feeling is resonating in me somehow.
Yesterday I spoke to my parents. They sound good and it was nice to touch base with them. As usual we are plotting and dreaming of the future, while talking about our past events. New vacations are in the works and old vacations have been shared too. That was calming.
Yesterday I ate well. Lots of green, continued. Some instant stuffing (not so healthy) was easy and I am eating up remnants from the summer. I came back here with a lot of backpacking meals and I will be going through them slowly too, not only eating the healthiest local organic stuff I buy. A small piece of Coho pan-fried-steamed in teriyaki/soy sauce with a small salad of mixed chards and a tomato with the last of my sesame dressing. I found the perfect dressing container while walking to school the other day- being given away in a "free" box. So I hope to get some recipes to make my own dressing. In the meantime I can revert to the balsamic vinegar and olive oil goodness that has sustained me in other places.
Yesterday is over. Today has begun. Got enough sleep, though I woke up dehydrated. I look to the stuffing for the salt-overdose and my water deficiency upon opening my eyes. It is windy and the laundry I put out to dry yesterday afternoon is seemingly dry. There has been no heat nor sun, but the wind must have done some good work through the night. I like that I can continue to NOT use a dryer, it is a waste of electricity so long as I have the ability to air dry my clothes. Plus they will last longer and soak up vital earth energy, as opposed to electric charges. Now if only I had an iron... or knew how to use it.
I have to write my paper today and it is going to be a toil. But I can sprinkle good small meals in between writing bouts. and there is still the gym where I can spend a couple of hours (including the 45-min round-trip walk) getting my body some needed energy release. And the stretch I was doing has fallen short. Perhaps I can spend a bit of time with that today and get back on track by including that into the routine. Come to think of it, I am excited for this paper today. It marks the end of my summer and the culmination of lots of work.
UCLA won. USC lost. And the best part is that I didn't spend more than 15 minutes watching any football. And I really don't care that much. And as I wrote before (or told some people) I am having a hard time watching American football. It is so slow and not really that exciting. Basketball and especially soccer and rugby are moving all the time and reflect proper ebbs and flows in human energy flow.
Last thought is a small one about American politics. Obama will win the next election. Why? Republicans are sending in nutjobs. Even the nutjobs know better than to vote for them. The psychos will, but they are a tiny minority. The Republican Party is not dumb. They want Obama to win so that he can continue to try to clean up the mess that they made. He will get close and then his second term will be over and at that time the shining new Republican leader (who will appear to be normal) will save the day! This is because they will be working with a majority Republican Congress- just you watch. Obama's work will be handed over to this new guy (and it isn't going to be a woman, considering historical precedence) and then he will go about fucking it all up again. So, the economy will be shite for another three years and then we will all get jobs when the Republicans come in to rescue us from the despotic hands of "Big Government" (which actually seems smaller than when Bush was leading us to war... HA. Just expect another small war/conflict as soon as Obama gets us out of Afghanistan. There. Documented.
And with that, I will go to my breakfast and disconnect from the internet to write my paper! Eagles and Falcons (no, not football), though last week we saw the Falcons out-gun the Eagles. In fact, last week was part of my final project... just kidding. Enough "randombling." Yes, I just coined that word!
Yesterday was great though toward the end of the day. Well, first, the Farmer's Market was great- met lots of farmers (you can tell by looking at their hands) and bought good stuff. Some sun melons which I've never eaten before as well as an oriental cucumber. I also bought a whole chicken and while the prices for all of this stuff and the other stuff I bought was a bit high I am pretty sure that the quality is also high and my health will also be elevated. Well worth the price and still cheaper than Japan, so I am in a good place with food.
Yesterday I was in a funk so I rushed off to the gym in the evening before it closed. It is sooo nice to shoot around on a nice indoor basketball court. I yearn for the fresh air of my outdoor Diablo court, but this was sticky floors and fast-paced basketball. Even my shots were faster. Promptly after shooting the lights out, I met some Japanese foreign exchange students and introduced myself in Japanese. We played for about 20 minutes together before the gym was shut down. It was a lot of fun and NOT competitive. Like Vinnie said once, it's nice to play in Japan because no one cares about winning more than actually playing. I got to experience that again and it was great. I even woke up with a dream about walking away from competition, so I know that this feeling is resonating in me somehow.
Yesterday I spoke to my parents. They sound good and it was nice to touch base with them. As usual we are plotting and dreaming of the future, while talking about our past events. New vacations are in the works and old vacations have been shared too. That was calming.
Yesterday I ate well. Lots of green, continued. Some instant stuffing (not so healthy) was easy and I am eating up remnants from the summer. I came back here with a lot of backpacking meals and I will be going through them slowly too, not only eating the healthiest local organic stuff I buy. A small piece of Coho pan-fried-steamed in teriyaki/soy sauce with a small salad of mixed chards and a tomato with the last of my sesame dressing. I found the perfect dressing container while walking to school the other day- being given away in a "free" box. So I hope to get some recipes to make my own dressing. In the meantime I can revert to the balsamic vinegar and olive oil goodness that has sustained me in other places.
Yesterday is over. Today has begun. Got enough sleep, though I woke up dehydrated. I look to the stuffing for the salt-overdose and my water deficiency upon opening my eyes. It is windy and the laundry I put out to dry yesterday afternoon is seemingly dry. There has been no heat nor sun, but the wind must have done some good work through the night. I like that I can continue to NOT use a dryer, it is a waste of electricity so long as I have the ability to air dry my clothes. Plus they will last longer and soak up vital earth energy, as opposed to electric charges. Now if only I had an iron... or knew how to use it.
I have to write my paper today and it is going to be a toil. But I can sprinkle good small meals in between writing bouts. and there is still the gym where I can spend a couple of hours (including the 45-min round-trip walk) getting my body some needed energy release. And the stretch I was doing has fallen short. Perhaps I can spend a bit of time with that today and get back on track by including that into the routine. Come to think of it, I am excited for this paper today. It marks the end of my summer and the culmination of lots of work.
UCLA won. USC lost. And the best part is that I didn't spend more than 15 minutes watching any football. And I really don't care that much. And as I wrote before (or told some people) I am having a hard time watching American football. It is so slow and not really that exciting. Basketball and especially soccer and rugby are moving all the time and reflect proper ebbs and flows in human energy flow.
Last thought is a small one about American politics. Obama will win the next election. Why? Republicans are sending in nutjobs. Even the nutjobs know better than to vote for them. The psychos will, but they are a tiny minority. The Republican Party is not dumb. They want Obama to win so that he can continue to try to clean up the mess that they made. He will get close and then his second term will be over and at that time the shining new Republican leader (who will appear to be normal) will save the day! This is because they will be working with a majority Republican Congress- just you watch. Obama's work will be handed over to this new guy (and it isn't going to be a woman, considering historical precedence) and then he will go about fucking it all up again. So, the economy will be shite for another three years and then we will all get jobs when the Republicans come in to rescue us from the despotic hands of "Big Government" (which actually seems smaller than when Bush was leading us to war... HA. Just expect another small war/conflict as soon as Obama gets us out of Afghanistan. There. Documented.
And with that, I will go to my breakfast and disconnect from the internet to write my paper! Eagles and Falcons (no, not football), though last week we saw the Falcons out-gun the Eagles. In fact, last week was part of my final project... just kidding. Enough "randombling." Yes, I just coined that word!
2011-09-24
After the Equinox and a rant
A day of rest- happy Saturday. Got to sleep late. It's good because I was out till 12:30 last night, driving home drunk friends. It was nice to go out on the town, to see Bellingham get a little bit crazy in the evening. Downtown is a boppin' scene, or at least it was last night because the weather was fine. Flip flops for me too- that is how nice it was. It was really nice to have dinner with Barbara and Jyoti last night too. We had chili and some nice discussion before I left early and met with some colleagues and friends.
A bit weirded out by my landlord telling me how to live. He has to come down here every once in a while and he was quick to see a fan on and the heat on (set at 65). He is right in saying that I don't need those things on while I am gone. But the heat didn't even kick on for two days until after it was set. And he ought not tell me that the fan only needs to be on for 15 minutes. I can tell it needs to be on longer. The gist is that it was just weird coming home to a note on my desk last night. This is not that big of a deal, but I wrote it out anyway because it was streaming through my head.
I will sit and write a long overdue paper this gorgeous sunny weekend. That is OK. It's time I did it. Other folks are going to the Institute for an anniversary picnic.
Here is my opportunity to rail against that place. These are my feelings and they are not wrong or right. But they should be set free. I worked hard for a year and never got a thank you. Not a little note. I don't expect it, but I guess I thought it would be nice. You pay $15,000 to work and basically give another $15,000 free labor (more?) to a place, you think they'd have the class and tact to write a thank you note. I suppose I will earn a "certificate" in March, but small details are very important. A good lesson for me to have learned- small thank you's matter.
The last piece is that I feel slighted. I worked pretty hard but did one thing that I probably shouldn't have done. That one thing did no harm to anyone, but I "bragged" about it to others. It was blown out of proportion by two people I trusted. They were quick to turn on me and "tell on me" and after that the attitude of other folks changed. I am disgusted that after all that time, they didn't even talk to me first. That shows me that they saw me as a free laborer instead of a person. With the change of the administration's attitude toward me soon thereafter, without remembering the good work I had done, I feel like my work was for naught. Fortunately, the Institute can continue its system of free labor under the guise of education while they milk the federal government for money unknowingly too. There, I said it. It's true. They wonder why the poorer conservative community hates their existence. It is a beacon of flourishing and money, like a nature hotel, while tourists drive by their rural poverty and drug-stricken communities.
I sound bitter. I guess you get stepped on enough, you are bound to say something. And while the Institute's celebration of 25 years begins in a couple of hours, it would be wiser to reflect and see that their growing business is losing track of the familiarity that made it strong in the first place. Money rules, even in the non-profit sector, and mission comes second. It's a funny lesson to learn and another reminder that if I am going to work hard when money is involved it should be for big bucks. I shouldn't try to nickel and dime others in the sake of "good will."
Wow, this blog went wild. I guess those thoughts had to be expressed after all. I feel better after having written it out. I am glad I had the experience of a year up there, and so perhaps I should have written nothing at all. But I woke up and this all continued to weigh on me. Instead of letting it sit, I decided to write. I want to write some positive vibes to start the day- after all it is gorgeous and should be nice at the farmer's market. But I don't look at this as negative. More just an opportunity to get out feelings. on to breakfast.
A bit weirded out by my landlord telling me how to live. He has to come down here every once in a while and he was quick to see a fan on and the heat on (set at 65). He is right in saying that I don't need those things on while I am gone. But the heat didn't even kick on for two days until after it was set. And he ought not tell me that the fan only needs to be on for 15 minutes. I can tell it needs to be on longer. The gist is that it was just weird coming home to a note on my desk last night. This is not that big of a deal, but I wrote it out anyway because it was streaming through my head.
I will sit and write a long overdue paper this gorgeous sunny weekend. That is OK. It's time I did it. Other folks are going to the Institute for an anniversary picnic.
Here is my opportunity to rail against that place. These are my feelings and they are not wrong or right. But they should be set free. I worked hard for a year and never got a thank you. Not a little note. I don't expect it, but I guess I thought it would be nice. You pay $15,000 to work and basically give another $15,000 free labor (more?) to a place, you think they'd have the class and tact to write a thank you note. I suppose I will earn a "certificate" in March, but small details are very important. A good lesson for me to have learned- small thank you's matter.
The last piece is that I feel slighted. I worked pretty hard but did one thing that I probably shouldn't have done. That one thing did no harm to anyone, but I "bragged" about it to others. It was blown out of proportion by two people I trusted. They were quick to turn on me and "tell on me" and after that the attitude of other folks changed. I am disgusted that after all that time, they didn't even talk to me first. That shows me that they saw me as a free laborer instead of a person. With the change of the administration's attitude toward me soon thereafter, without remembering the good work I had done, I feel like my work was for naught. Fortunately, the Institute can continue its system of free labor under the guise of education while they milk the federal government for money unknowingly too. There, I said it. It's true. They wonder why the poorer conservative community hates their existence. It is a beacon of flourishing and money, like a nature hotel, while tourists drive by their rural poverty and drug-stricken communities.
I sound bitter. I guess you get stepped on enough, you are bound to say something. And while the Institute's celebration of 25 years begins in a couple of hours, it would be wiser to reflect and see that their growing business is losing track of the familiarity that made it strong in the first place. Money rules, even in the non-profit sector, and mission comes second. It's a funny lesson to learn and another reminder that if I am going to work hard when money is involved it should be for big bucks. I shouldn't try to nickel and dime others in the sake of "good will."
Wow, this blog went wild. I guess those thoughts had to be expressed after all. I feel better after having written it out. I am glad I had the experience of a year up there, and so perhaps I should have written nothing at all. But I woke up and this all continued to weigh on me. Instead of letting it sit, I decided to write. I want to write some positive vibes to start the day- after all it is gorgeous and should be nice at the farmer's market. But I don't look at this as negative. More just an opportunity to get out feelings. on to breakfast.
2011-09-23
Ok, I'll try this
So, an article that Wayne sent me said to write everyday. Even a paragraph. That way I can learn to write like I speak. And someone the other day told me that I tell decent stories. I always think that people lose interest in my stories. I guess it's because I remember the details, get sidetracked and try to add a lot of background. In this day and age, folks want it fast and if they are into taking their time, they will read! So, I should practice writing like I speak and those who have the patience and gumption to read, will do it. Perhaps they will read not just this blog, but other stories too if I can get around to writing them. The other piece of advice was to write in public (like this blog) just like I would speak in public. OK. Let's try it.
Clint and Alex stayed here for two nights. They found a place to live, so they packed up and headed out this morning. It was nice having visitors even though my place is a mess and I am still working out the kinks of living here. My view is tremendous and very inspirational.
My classes are going to be a lot of work. I have been to three classes (Beginning yoga!, Conservation Psychology and Foundations of Environmental Education.) Today is Language and Discourse (with respect to the environment of course) and I expect to settle into that one also as the professor is taking a more historical approach I think. There is a LOT of writing and reading for me to do. And with abundant tea and incense, I suspect that my humble abode will turn into a sanctuary of learning and peace. That is what I would like.
I'm still interested in finding a sea kayak. I am still interested in training. I am still interested in compiling years worth of notes into some stories from traveling. After all, the individual experiences were nice, but it means a lot more if I can share them. Then I can truly come to grips with the lessons and context of my life. And then, I can throw out my notes finally, after having schlepped them across the Pacific and back already... twice (both south [Chile] and west [Japan] from the West coast)
And let's add a relatively recent picture too! This is White Mountain-Heather (Cassiope mertensiana) atop Trapper's Peak (5966 feet) with Mt. Triumph (7240 feet) looming in the background. Kate and I summitted in August.
Clint and Alex stayed here for two nights. They found a place to live, so they packed up and headed out this morning. It was nice having visitors even though my place is a mess and I am still working out the kinks of living here. My view is tremendous and very inspirational.
My classes are going to be a lot of work. I have been to three classes (Beginning yoga!, Conservation Psychology and Foundations of Environmental Education.) Today is Language and Discourse (with respect to the environment of course) and I expect to settle into that one also as the professor is taking a more historical approach I think. There is a LOT of writing and reading for me to do. And with abundant tea and incense, I suspect that my humble abode will turn into a sanctuary of learning and peace. That is what I would like.
I'm still interested in finding a sea kayak. I am still interested in training. I am still interested in compiling years worth of notes into some stories from traveling. After all, the individual experiences were nice, but it means a lot more if I can share them. Then I can truly come to grips with the lessons and context of my life. And then, I can throw out my notes finally, after having schlepped them across the Pacific and back already... twice (both south [Chile] and west [Japan] from the West coast)
And let's add a relatively recent picture too! This is White Mountain-Heather (Cassiope mertensiana) atop Trapper's Peak (5966 feet) with Mt. Triumph (7240 feet) looming in the background. Kate and I summitted in August.
2011-09-22
change of diet
Moved into my new place. (Still have to write about the summer and Japan). Thus, very backlogged, I am going to keep up with the present and keep chipping away at the past (including a paper that was due 6 weeks ago... ahhh!). Today I ate a ton of veggies and fruits. Salad of fresh greens from a local garden of a neighbor, stuff from a local farm. Chard, Lettuce, carrots, beets, spinach. Pluots (yellow and purple- they were so good) which are a mix between a plum and heaven! Actually I have no idea. Donut peaches were last week and I also had a pear. I am going to swipe a couple of apples from another neighbor's tree... they are letting them all fall to the ground, so I am just trying to prevent the waste. Tomatoes (in the salads) and potatoes (french fries with some Yakushima salt!) and blackberries in the form of a cobbler! Onions in the eggs this morning- which I will implore a neighbor with 30 chickens in his yard to see if he has extras.
Lots of veggies and fruits. I need some more carbs... and well, the meat I am working on eating less. I'm aiming to cook only birds and fish, leaving the four-legged ones alone. That is not to say I will stop eating flesh from those creatures. I just won't cook it for myself or order it at restaurants (but shredded beef tacos are so good--- of course, there are exceptions!) More fresh goodness in my life... we'll see if this can keep up through the winter or how much it will change. Local and fresh produce and fruits will take center stage with smaller portions of meat. And load the carbs too- it's gonna be a cold winter!
Lots of veggies and fruits. I need some more carbs... and well, the meat I am working on eating less. I'm aiming to cook only birds and fish, leaving the four-legged ones alone. That is not to say I will stop eating flesh from those creatures. I just won't cook it for myself or order it at restaurants (but shredded beef tacos are so good--- of course, there are exceptions!) More fresh goodness in my life... we'll see if this can keep up through the winter or how much it will change. Local and fresh produce and fruits will take center stage with smaller portions of meat. And load the carbs too- it's gonna be a cold winter!
2011-09-12
abroad
It's important that I keep writing. I have like three blogs in my head and no time to put them down. Nor to download the pictures. The first one will be about teaching teens about climate science in the backcountry all summer. The next one will be about transitioning to Bellingham (city of 80,000) from Diablo (hamlet of 50?)... from the mountains back to the sea. And the next will be about a visit to Japan. Of course, I can't upload these pictures right now,but I want to get this out so that I at least know that I haven't gone too much more than TWO MONTHS without blogging. Oy.
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